He was, he would be the first to admit, a coward, an incompetent, and not even very good at being a failure.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Religion is pure hypnosis

I want to express the utmost intensity of the color, bring out the quality, make it expressive.

The excitement really didn't start to build until the trailer - which was carrying me, with a space suit with ventilation and all that sort of stuff - pulled up to the launch pad.

Yes. I didn't think there were any witnesses, so I guess I'll have to kill you too.

Friendship is like a rose. . . opening one petal at a time, only as it unfolds. . . day by day it reveals its true beauty.

The more learned a writer, the more digression beckons him.

It is passion that makes man live; wisdom makes one only last.

The days that are still to come are the wisest witnesses.

A river is more than an amenity, it is a treasure.

Being an American, what I've noticed is that we're in such a race. You wake up and you realize you're in the middle of a race, and some people are running right by you.