He who fails to please in his salutation and address is at once rejected, and never obtains an opportunity of showing his latest excellences or essential qualities.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he's seventy he still wants to reform the world but he knows he can't.

Superior virtue must be the fruit of superior intelligence.

I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul

My parents have one rule for me: I can't do any of this if I have any C's on my report card.

Less-creative people can't shift gears. Very creative people move between these two states intuitively.

He strains his conversation through a cigar.

She’s not much of a team player, more of a team yeller.

Male philosophers coin phrases -- 'virtue is its own reward' -- and female workers embody them.

Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

I knew a phoenix in my youth, so let them have their day.