He who has no vision of eternity has no hold on time.

Teach a parrot the terms 'supply and demand' and you've got an economist.

He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.

Long stormy spring-time, wet contentious April, winter chilling the lap of very May; but at length the season of summer does come.

No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.

Endurance is patience concentrated.

I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.

Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom.

A strong mind always hopes, and has always cause to hope.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

Of all acts of man repentance is the most divine. The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none.

There is little in the architecture of a city that is more beautifully designed than a tree.

If a patient wants to live, doctors are impotent.

I saw no poor men, except a few intemperate ones. I saw some very poor women; but God and man know that the time has not come for women to make their injuries even heard of.

The press is, almost without exception, corrupt.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.

The career of a writer is comparable to that of a woman of easy virtue. You write first for pleasure, later for the pleasure of others and finally for money.

I just went to an acting agency one day and just said, 'I would like to act. Would you take me?' And they took me.

Natural religion supplies still all the facts which are disguised under the dogma of popular creeds. The progress of religion is steadily to its identity with morals.

Dictatorships start wars because they need external enemies to exert internal control over their own people.

Since life itself is uncertain, nothing which has life for its basis can boast much stability.