He who stands most remote from his age is he who mirrors it best.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

There is so much evil in emphasizing too much miracles.

Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first.

Poverty is unnecessary.

I think Andy Kaufman is to comedy what the Velvet Underground was to music - it's like, 80 thousand records sold, but everybody who bought one started a band.

Who was blowing on the nape of my neck?

A story to me must have some surprise...I must have a passion to write the story.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

Enjoy yourself as much as you like - if only you keep from sin.

Maybe being winged means being wounded by infinity.