He who wins the independents wins the White House. That's a liberal Democrat trick, by the way.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

You are fifty different kinds of twisted.""Only fifty? Val, you wound me.

The man who is asked by an author what he thinks of his work is put to the torture and is not obliged to speak the truth.

I sprung you because I've got a message for you" "doesn't your family own a cell phone company?" "only a little one

If Hillary Clinton can be president, then one girl can be mayor. And someone else can be a police chief, and someone else can be a U.S. senator.

Everyone knows that yellow, orange, and red suggest ideas of joy and plenty. I can paint you the skin of Venus with mud, provided you let me surround it as I will.

What don't kill me will just make me crazier

I got a lot happening, a whole lot, and it's not always easy being me.

One of the things that was confusing about Limp Bizkit to some people is that our tastes were very different.

Who knows how dead Lazarus was? Was Lazarus decomposing in a six-foot grave when Jesus resurrected him? No, he wasn't.

Isn't all religions curious? If they weren't you wouldn't get anyone to believe them.