He would insult the Universe. That is, he would insult everybody in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and (this was the thing he really decided to grit his teeth over) in alphabetical order.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.

We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.

The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy.

The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.

and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet.

Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple.""Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that.

He was alone with his thoughts. They were extremely unpleasant thoughts and he would rather have had a chaperon.

The only end to your pain is through fully consuming it and digesting it, otherwise it will consume you.

A big reason why I started writing is I felt that fiction had stopped evolving. All other entertainments were getting better, constantly, as technology allowed. Movies. Video games. Music.

I hear music as narrative.

Doing your best means never stop trying.

There are plenty of towns in America where the 4-year-old has shot his 2-year-old sister by using daddy's gun.

If we die, we want people to accept it. We are in a risky business, and we hope that if anything happens to us, it will not delay the program. The conquest of space is worth the risk of life.

Their smiles are lies. Most smiles are.

Wisdom is the booby prize given when you've been unwise.

Let love give way to business; give attention to business and you will be safe.

A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.