Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Measure what can be measured, and make measurable what cannot be measured.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

I jumped up in the bubble, yo kid where are you? (114 between Manhattan and Morningside Avenue) This happened just right out the blue

To say that God has given a man many and great talents frequently means that he has brought his heavens down within reach of his hands.

I'd seen more cops in the last few days than on a weekend LAW and ORDER marathon" - Paigne Winterbourne

I wouldn't want the federal government dictating how I use my cameras, every community has their own issues and their own dynamics.

It was not his job at square leg to inform the batsman what I was doing. I did nothing for which I need to apologise.

The Miami Heat has the best fans.

For sure, to be exact, one seventh of my patients never graduated my program.

Being forced into early retirement can be to a man what being "given up for a younger woman" is for a woman.