Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Forgiveness and restoration are two difference acts. Forgiveness can lead to restoration but restoration is not hinged to forgiveness.

May every day of the New Year be filled with glorious wonders.

First say to yourself what you would be and then do what you have to do.

Like all of us in this storm between birth and death, I can wreak no great changes on the world, only small changes for the better, I hope, in the lives of those I love.

It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory.

It's the questions we ask, the journey we take to get to where we are going that is more important than the actual answer.

There is a universal urge to rethink our spirituality in order to give us a new sense of security.

I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of Him.

We try to be open to letting anything change in the moment.

Thank God the economy is not as bad as you read in the newspaper every day.