Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.

There is always time for another last minute

OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?

IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. "You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?" YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)

Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them

Dullness. Only humans could have invented it. What imaginations they had.

YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES."So we can believe the big ones?"YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

It's supposed to be jolly, with mistletoe and holly... and other things ending in olly.

Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country.

Always being myself and my salve, which is life. I’m not lonely, if that’s what it seems like. Always writing things down.

What you don't sweat out when you're young will turn into tears when you're old.

You can't defend the indefensible. Anything you say sounds self-serving and hypocritical.

About the scientific revolution: it "outshines everything since the rise of Christianity and reduces the Renaissance and Reformation to the rank of mere episodes".

WHAT WE NEED IN AMERICA TODAY IS A VIGOROUS RETURN TO THE GOD OF OUR FATHERS AND A MOST VIGOROUS DEFENSE AGAINST THE MINION OF GODLESSNESS AND ATHEISM.

I grew up with artists.

When you're tan, you feel better about yourself

Honor is an old-world thing; but it smells sweet to those in whose hand it is strong.

I do what I do. Always.