Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Almighty God, I hope in you.

I counsel you, put down in record even your doubts and surmises. Hereafter it may be of interest to you to see how true you guess. We learn from failure, not from success.

I'd like to have a dog with me.

The horse would plough, the ox would drive the car. No; do the work you know, and tarry where you are.

I think the people who go to work every day don't feel like Washington cares a whit about them,and, actually, they're executing policies that are bad for them.

I'm glad that I never ended up killing myself, though I came close more times than I would like to admit.

What I admired most about him [Bobby Fischer] was his ability to make what was in fact so difficult look easy to us. I try to emulate him.

If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can't just cherry pick the glowing ones.

I don't have to live this lavish lifestyle.

The difference in the profit and loss is usually ... do not quit.