Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

We are yet to have a conscience at all about the exploitation of human cultures.

Come on, you Do you want to live forever?

God decided to create a species with whom he could have fellowship. Who are we to say that evolution was a dumb way to do it? It was an incredibly elegant way to do it.

If you work an extra ten hours to help spread the dharma, this will cause for much faster progression. You're doing something for a higher cause, for a higher ideal.

Kids don’t do what their parents say-they do what they see their parents do. So who was to blame here?

Of course the sad truth is that if we are not present to the moment, our true love could come and go and we wouldn't even notice.

The Glass Key is better than anything Hemingway ever wrote

I bake all the time, but I don't like to eat the cookies when they're done. I just like the dough.

What I've observed, and I think it's fair to give credit to the psychedelic experience for this, what I've observed is that nature builds on previously established levels of complexity.