Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe. Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever [Jimmy] Carter says, as quickly as possible.

Four years of Jimmy Carter gave us two titanic Reagan landslides, peace and prosperity for eight blessed years - and even a third term for his feckless vice president, George H.W. Bush.

I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media.

Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

There is no surer proof of Christ's divinity than that he is still so hated some two thousand years after his death.

Liberals want the family destroyed, they want religion destroned, because then you have loyalty directly to the state.

Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too.

Live wisely amongst those who doubts your abilities”.

As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.

I usually sleep just a few hours a night.

Your absence weighs more than someone else’s presence

My boxes are life's experiences aesthetically expressed.

Some critics will write 'Maya Angelou is a natural writer' - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.

'Take offense at the drop of a hat' is the unwritten eleventh commandment.

A sweet thing, perspective - a chance to see your enemies so small.

Check the records; there has never been an undisciplined person who was a champion. Regardless of the field of endeavor, you'll find this to be true.