Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be!

I've never trusted toadstools, but I suppose some must have their good points.

Those who say there's nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves never had *real* tea. It's like a syringe of adrenaline straight to the heart!

The proper order of things is often a mystery to me. You, too?

Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret were about to dart up my dress, I'd run.

Let your *need* guide you behavior. *Supress* your instinct to lead... Pursue Rabbit!

The uninformed must improve their deficit, or die.

I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.

Is our situation not dismal? Wonderland is so discombobulated that lady bugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the queen's army! Punish their conversion!

To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims in-waiting.

Meta-Essence is the life-force of Wonderland. That of your enemies is especially potent. Collect what you can. Use it wisely.

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving.

I am the slave of an internal power more powerful than my education.

To be a human being is to suffer. But it's the unnecessary suffering, it's the suffering that we visit upon one another, that really should be stopped.

You're breaking out of character, again.

I believe that in each generation God has called enough men and women to evangelize all the yet unreached tribes of the earth. It is not God who does not call. It is man who will not respond!

Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.

Most of the comics that I talk to I've never talked to for more than ten minutes ever. So 95 percent of the time you're really hearing the first conversation between me and that guy on the podcast.

Rap is not pop, if you call it that then stop...

Leadership is the ability to influence people and motivate them to do what needs to be done to accomplish a goal, vision, or mission.

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.