Here's what I think: the five most unattractive traits in people are cheapness, clinginess, neediness, unwillingness to change and jealousy. Jealousy is the worst, and by far the hardest to conceal.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

...early medieval Ireland sounds like a somewhat crazed Wisconsin, in which every dairy farm is an armed camp at perpetual war with its neighbors, and every farmer claims he is a king.

The one good thing about 'chaos' is that you are so busy dealing with lifes shit, you have no time to think about how petty these'Life Changing Issues' are.

A teleporting cat! Is she yours?" Dr. Daniel McCleod. "Suki

If something’s existence is contingent upon the existence of another entity, can we truthfully call them separate beings?

Here's a Challenge: Study a complicated topic in such detail that anyone interested can nod their head and understand as you explain specific concepts within the topic.

I sort of make believe. That's why I like acting. You can create or imagine anything.

Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.

I could definitely take someone out with my bare hands.

If I went to jail, at least I wouldn't have to sign autographs.

No human investigation can claim to be scientific if it doesn't pass the test of mathematical proof.