Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: "Make me young, make me young, make me young!

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Whoever said that money can't buy happiness, simply didn't know where to go shopping

She was not a slowpoke grownup. She was a girl who could not wait. Life was so interesting she had to find out what happened next.

Selfishness can be a virtue. Selfishness is essential to survival, and without survival we cannot protect those whom we love more than ourselves.

Right now, America looks like a fatheaded, shortsighted, gas-guzzling arrogant blowhard to the rest of the world.

Healthcare is very much a high priority for me. Healthcare is also a huge issue for business, both big and small.

Androgyny is not trying to manage the relationship between the opposites; it is simply flowing between them.

The inward pleasure of imparting pleasure - that is the choicest of all.

Life's irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.

Leaders are the custodians of a nation's ideals, of the beliefs it cherishes, of its permanent hopes, of the faith which makes a nation out of a mere aggregation of individuals.

God help the patient.