Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education.

There are but a few blood purifiers and these are all in the body. We know them as the liver, kidneys, lungs, colon, and a few glands.

Welcome to my garage. This is where I go to get away from the Honey-Do list.

I tend to equate sadness with intelligence.

Truth is meant to save you first, and the comfort comes afterwards.

Now that we have the line-item veto there is no excuse for Congress to put pork in and no reason for the president not to line-item veto it out.

I was 47 when I got pregnant. I'd been trying for a couple of years and thought it would never happen.

All I ever intended was to make a living at what I do. Everything I've achieved since then is above and beyond.

It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds; and these invaluable communications are within the reach of all.

I think the biggest innovations of the 21st century will be at the intersection of biology and technology. A new era is beginning.