Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Righteousness is of God, the righteous Ruler.

The human spirit’s unquenchable drive for originality and compulsion for creating art is the compelling force of our humanity.

The best lie is the one that has an element of truth, so it’s good to include something real in your fiction.

People and land need healing which is all inclusive - holistic.

Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes; adversity not without many comforts and hopes.

The lazy ox wishes for horse-trappings, and the steed wishes to plough. [Lat., Optat ephippia bos piger, optat arare caballus.]

I never really was a grime artist. I'm just an artist.

there's no justice, there's only love.

Systems are made by players rather than players making systems