Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Never give up. It might not seem easy at first but in the end, it will all be worth it

O Lord help me not to despise or oppose what I do not understand.

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.

To be an investor you must be a believer in a better tomorrow.

I am big. It's the pictures that got small.

I remember manners, that's when people are scared to make other persons mad.

We South Africans are also crazy about football, so the World Cup can be nothing but successful.

America does not have the luxury of withdrawing from the world, our security, and our prosperity, and our values demand that we remain engaged and involved in -- often distant places.

Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.

Carry the cross patiently, and with perfect submission; and in the end it shall carry you.