High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Time deals gently only with those who take it gently.

njoy the ride of life. It is irreplaceable.

I am only my money. It is all anyone sees, even Adam.

What the history of aviation has brought in the 20th century should inspire us to be inventors and explorers ourselves in the new century.

You have to look at leadership through the eyes of the followers and you have to live the message.

People judge too much by results. I'm just the opposite. I care about more than results. I'd rather make a good pitch and give up a bloop single than make a bad pitch and get an out.

The whole idea of motivation is a trap, forget motivation, just do it

most people lose the ability to see silver linings or even though they are always there above us.

I don't think one moment in somebody's life is going to define them.

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.