Hillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

There I lay, wearing dead people as armor against death.

I want to grow old without facelifts. I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made.

There is no person in this room whose basic rights are not involved in any successful defiance to the carrying out of court orders.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

We are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration!

It is that unoccupied space which makes a room habitable, as it is our leisure hours which make life endurable.

The greatest opportunities in life come with fear and risk.

With great effort comes great gratification.

I see, sir, you are liberal in offers. You taught me first to beg, and now methinks You teach me how a beggar should be answered.