Hillary Clinton is not the first woman to run for president. That title belongs to Victoria Woodhull, who ran for president in 1872. Her running mate was a young, scrappy John McCain.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

I can believe anything provided it is incredible.

I have a big responsibility to my licenses. All my licenses draw from and take ideas from the runway.

When the mother of the race is free, we shall have a better world, by the easy right of birth and by the calm, slow, friendly forces of evolution.

I think having some sort of religious faith can be helpful for many people, because it kind of puts things in perspective a bit.

A book on cheap paper does not convince. It is not prized, it is like a wheezy doctor with pigtail tobacco breath, who needs a manicure.

Serbia will neither allow a revision of history, nor will it forget who are the main culprits in World War I.

I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack.

I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.

What we love intensely or for a long time we are likely to bring within the citadel, and to assert as part of oneself.

The government passed more laws to protect women from dirty jokes than to protect men from death by faulty rafters at a construction site.