Hillary Clinton ran the "Bimbo Eruptions Unit" with a woman named Betsey Wright. And in so doing, she preserved the Democrat Party, because she preserved the career of Bill Clinton.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

We never stopped being each other.

Prayer is your personal key to heaven.

I am skilled now, at casting iron To make a hardened bed for my heavy world

Do I really look like a guy with a plan?

If it's too fashiony, it's not interesting to me.

As one's gifts increase, his friends decrease.

What shall we do with...the Jews?...I advise that all their prayer books and Talmudic writings...are to be taken from them.

I am fundamentally an optimist.

I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.

I think laughter is a sacred act.