Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Why does a heart wear its eyesinto helllike slivers of false sunshine

We were all born with a certain degree of power. The key to success is discovering this innate power and using it daily to deal with whatever challenges come our way.

If we do not speak for Earth, who will? If we are not committed to our own survival, who will be?

If people are constantly falling off a cliff, you could place ambulances under the cliff or build a fence on the top of the cliff. We are placing all too many ambulances under the cliff.

Men are more helped by sympathy than by service.

Addressing global resentment cannot be put off. If we do not learn to use our predominant power with great restraint, we will antagonize the world.

The world is full of ghosts, and some of them are still people.

God can have our money and not have our hearts, but He cannot have our hearts without having our money.

As a Christian, when your trial is getting hotter, you are getting closer to your breakthrough! Keep pressing!

Full oft we see Cold wisdom waiting on superfluous folly.