His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If you want you can die any way you want, but no matter how much you try you cannot live the way you want.

There is a moonlight note in the Moonlight Sonata

No scientific theory achieves public acceptance until it has been thoroughly discredited.

A storybook marriage? No, not at all. What Mitt Romney and I have is a real marriage.

Engineering and mixing are absolutely key. Once a song is done, for me personally, it's usually two or three days to get the mix down.

The more abstract the truth you wish to teach, the more must you allure the senses to it.

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

I just love learning about the way people used to live their lives, and I think what also ties into that is psychology, because I like knowing why people do certain things.

I would love to see the Church on the right side of history.

I would lay awake nights and cry a lot thinking, is my dad gonna come home? Is he gonna go to jail again? Is he going to get killed?