Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

Always try to live in a wonderful world where the sun is always shining, flowers are always blooming, birds are always singing, and you are always busy with a joyful life.

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

The power of a book lies in its power to turn a solitary act into a shared vision. As long as we have books, we are not alone.

If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you'd eventually get the same result they do.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I wish I had known more firsthand about the concerns and problems of American businesspeople while I was a U.S. senator and later a presidential nominee.

I don't look where I'm going, I look where I've been.

I enjoy writing rhymes and sitting alone in a room listening to beats. It's pretty amazing.

Good thoughts are no better than good dreams if you don't follow through.

Death have we hated, knowing not what it meant; Life we have loved, through green leaf and through sere, Though still the less we knew of its intent.