History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

He had the feeling that there was something physically behind his eyes, blocking the light.

A wise warrior learns from her mistakes.

I feel it respectful to observe and practice new customs, if I am to ever understand what it truly means to be human.

I'm not a birthday person. Maybe because I don't like to build expectations around that one day. You never know how it'll turn out to be.

I always feel that when I come to Edinburgh, in many ways I am coming home.

You don't have conversations with microprocessors. You tell them what to do, then helplessly watch the disaster when they take you literally!

Money is much more exciting than anything it buys.

It's all a farce, - these tales they tell About the breezes sighing, And moans astir o'er field and dell, Because the year is dying.

I've always had people come up to me to say that they admire the way I play, and then they tell me they're not United fans. That's always been nice.

Sometimes my feet are tired and my hands are quiet, but there is no quiet in my heart.