Hitler is the human catch-all for all other terrible humans.

The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they’d never admit in normal conversation.

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Yeah, tell me I’m a bottle of single malt scotch, she thought. That’s the way to my heart.

We have lied to ourselves. We have not built this box for the good of our brothers. We built it for its own sake. It is above all our brothers to us, and its truth above their truth.

It's a petty thing, but I wouldn't join the Scouts when I was a kid, 'cause you had to swear allegiance to the queen. I'm just not a royalist. I think it's idiotic, a hereditary principle.

If someone were to put a proposition before men bidding them choose, after examination, the best customs in the world, each nation would certainly select its own

The fact is, you don't love me, and you haven't destroyed me. You don't have what it takes to do that.

I challenge anyone, even with a radar machine, to hit that slider.

You don't protect any of your individual liberties by lying down and going to sleep.

History is never surprising after it happens.

And thats the way it was and thats the way the cookie crumbles

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.