Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

Every prayer is a wish fulfilled in due time.

I thought, my love is so good, why isn't it calling the same thing back.

It's often a bad sign when people defend themselves against charges which haven't been made.

There is some music that's truly dark, in that it's dark in terms of hopeless. But then again, the act of hope is just making the work of art.

It's easier to do an action scene than a love scene. I love fighting. When the camera's not rolling, I'll usually punch some of the actors, just for fun.

The angels are as perfect in form as they are in spirit.

The very notion of tabu is one of the rightest notions in the world. Better any old tabu than none, for a man cannot be said to be"on the side of the stars" at all, unless he makes refusals.

Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.

Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.

I've tried and I can't. The thought of it twists me in a knot.