Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

The alphabet is where all our secrets begin.

A life with a positive purpose is absolutely priceless.

A traveller must buy his own experience, and success or failure depends mainly on personal idiosyncrasies.

There is only one real happiness in life, and that is the happiness of creating.

The Book of Mormon is our handbook of instructions as we travel the pathway from bad to good to better and strive to have our hearts changed.

The preparation for building a series of thrillers based on a single character is kind of like the preparation for becoming a parent: The best part is the idea - wink, wink.

My point is: in this whole wide world the only person you can depend on is you.

I think, what has this day brought me, and what have I given it?

It's frustrating me - that booty is gonna sag at some point. And if you allow enough people to come inside your physical space, they leave traces.

Every human being is a repeated question asked to the spirit of the Universe.