Hollywood liberals could not be reached for comment on the cost of the inauguration because they were being fitted for gowns and jewelry worth millions of dollars in anticipation of Oscar night.

Four years of Jimmy Carter gave us two titanic Reagan landslides, peace and prosperity for eight blessed years - and even a third term for his feckless vice president, George H.W. Bush.

I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media.

Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

There is no surer proof of Christ's divinity than that he is still so hated some two thousand years after his death.

Liberals want the family destroyed, they want religion destroned, because then you have loyalty directly to the state.

The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers.

Always do your best to be loving and kind to others.

But before she tells you anything." I glared at him suspiciously."your seed..."Tsaeb winced."What the hell are you talking about?""your...well, your seed. You know, you have to knock her up.

The Lord gave us two ends - one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.

Don't abandon what makes you who you are. Don't give up hope.

Share your strengths, not your weaknesses.

Tyrannosaurus is the most superb carnivorous mechanism among the terrestrial Vertebrata, in which raptorial power and speed are combined.

My two favorite musicals growing up in were 'Annie' and 'Sweeney Todd,' and my best friend and I would sing all the songs when I was a kid.

I have been working since I was 14, nonstop.

What your heart thinks is great, is great. The soul's emphasis is always right.