Home is where the college student home for the holidays isn't.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

We each possess the ability creatively to respond to the ontological mystery of our existence.

You made a choice—a single choice. How neat to think you may have opened the door to a wondrous future without knowing.

There are more than one universe, and its inhabitants.

If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.

Surviving the first round is never my aim. Ideally, I'd be in one group with Brazil, Argentina and Germany. Then I'd have lost two rivals after the first round. That's how I think. Idealisitic.

Basically, Herman van Rompuy wants the European Union to become a debt union, which may be acceptable to some of the southern countries who are effectively bust. To the northern countries, it is not.

What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying.

You are 100 percent responsible for how your children turn out. And you accomplish that by teaching them that they are 100 percent responsible for how they turn out.

Christ, Buddha, and Krishna are but waves in the Ocean of Infinite Consciousness that I am!

Fantasy, at its best, is balm for the soul. But it is faulty logic to assume that balm is necessarily mind-numbing anesthesia.