Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

All hatred is self-hatred, just as all healing is self-healing.

One of Scotland's most important cultural exports - stories.

When we are young, we want to be old and for things to change. When we are old, we want to be young and for things to go back to the way they were.

Civil and political rights are critical, but not often the real problem for the destitute sick. My patients in Haiti can now vote but they can't get medical care or clean water.

Go on, then, and let your intent be seriousness.

When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing.

The real implication of equal distribution is that each man shall have the wherewithal to supply all his natural needs and no more.

There were so many layers of reality to the world. Nothing stopped for death; nothing stopped for grief or horror or tragedy.

Those jobs flee other states because of factors like excessive taxation, punitive regulation and frivolous lawsuits.

Today self-consciousness no longer means anything but reflection on the ego as embarrassment, as realization of impotence: knowing that one is nothing.