Honey, the only experts in PMS are men. That's why men are so good at fighting wars; they learned Escape and Evade at home.

If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.

I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.

A village somewhere was missing it's idiot.

Sign by elevator put up by computer geeks in office building: REMEMBER: FIRST YOU PILAGE, THEN YOU BURN. THOSE WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE SUSPENDED FROM THE RAIDING TEAM. In Mr Perfect

Women were always complications, bless their perverse little hearts.

Pleasure was a siren, luring her to experience more

I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.

If death turned out to be a lack of being rather than a lack of consciousness, well, then, that sucked.

Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly. “I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.

He needed a woman. Bad.

You see, ” she interrupted his blank stare, “it doesn’t take much effort to be kind. It only takes the ability to recognize where kindness is needed.

I think life is a matter of choices and that wherever we are, good or bad, is because of choices we make.

Because of technological limits, there is a certain amount of food that we can produce per acre. If we were to have intensive greenhouse agriculture, we could have much higher production.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

Left to ourselves we tend immediately to reduce God to manageable terms.

There is nothing wanting to make all rational and disinterested people in the world of one religion, but that they should talk together every day.

The world is evolving from imperfection to perfection. It needs all love and sympathy; great tenderness and watchfulness are required from each one of us.

I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's taken me years to put him into context historically and really get what he did.

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

It is in some respect greater love in Jesus to sanctify than to justify, for He maketh us most like Himself, in His own essential portraiture and image in sanctifying us.