Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Maisie bit her lip. She had learned that sometimes it was best to let words die of their own accord, rather than fight them.

Move on! Move on! Don't let anything Stop you. Go on and make your Dreams come true.

I guess if people all followed the basic principles of their own religions, they would love everybody instead of hating half the world.

I have a theory that Southern madhouses are full of gifted women who were stifled.

if you want to keep happiness , you have to share it !

It's more intimate. Food can connect people in a forever sort of way.

. . . For a lifetime was but a moment in that place, and each man dreams his own heaven. And in the darkness David closed his eyes, as all that was lost was found again.

No man knows my history.

I think he [Sir Alex Ferguson] may have even surpassed the achievements of Matt Busby for Manchester United.

I probably did too much thinking in India. I blame it on the roads, for they were superb.