Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

But then again, I shouldn't judge. That is, after all, my pet peeve.

I never meant to marry. In my opinion, a woman born in the last half of the nineteenth century of the Christian era suffered from enough disadvantages without willfully embracing another.

I dieted all the time in the Sixties, but we had no idea what dieting meant - we thought it meant not eating anything.

I don't watch 'American Idol,' but I wouldn't call it 'undignified.'

Acting is the most brotherly and sisterly profession in the world.

Oooh, fashion, we are the goon squad and were coming to town, beep beep.

I think of Gisele Bundchen to get myself on the treadmill

The basic test of freedom is perhaps less in what we are free to do than in what we are free not to do.

And sometimes the clergy are blindsided by that. Other times they realize that ahead of time and say they're not going to use those terms. So it gets complicated for sure.

If you conduct yourself with peace love and compassion, then you are God.