How about this?" I said, because now it was the principle of the thing. "I'm sorry, jackass.

Long-haired Chihuahuas have no notion they are bite-sized.

My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction.

When your family is twice as weird as normal, you have to be twice as polite to authority, because authority hates weird.

Taylor: what do you hear? Daisy: Nothing but rain

That was easy for him to say when his cell phone was rounding third base. If anyone got a home run tonight, I didn't want it to be Verizon Wireless.

Faith isn't absence of doubt. It's belief without proof, not without question.

Don’t ever trust anyone who’s writing a book. They make up lies for a living.

She was the only creature in the world who would really care if something happened to me, even if it was only because I was the bringer of kibble.

Focus, Amy. Just because he looked great in the saddle did not mean he wasn't an axe murderer.

"Oh My God," I blurted, grabbing onto Phin as we faced the open bedroom door. "It's the axe murderer." "I doubt he would knock," she said, but she was whispering, too, and didn't move away from me.

I like the way we talk to each other. It feels honest. It was different with Manuel. One of us always had to win. Husbands and wives do that, worry more about being right than being truthful.

What is the good of being an island, if you are not a volcanic island?

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Liberty is the right not to lie.

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

When greatness descends from its lofty pedestal, it assumes human dimensions.

You cannot change me; this is the way I am.

No hour brings good fortune to one man without bringing misfortune to another.

Fashion will go out of fashion.