How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Adventure begins when something goes wrong

In all marriages there is struggle and ours was no different in that regard. But we always came to the other shore, dusted off, and said, There you are, my love.

We can't have full knowledge all at once. We must start by believing then afterwards we may be led on to master the evidence for ourselves.

For the longest time in Denmark I didn't want to say what I was politically. I thought it was irrelevant.

That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.

Avoiding occasions of expense by cultivating peace, we should remember also that timely disbursements to prepare for danger frequently prevent much greater disbursements to repel it

As we step out of the way new things are born.

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

When people think the world of you, be careful with them.

It is so easy to be average. It takes a little something to be special. Why be around average?