How can I die? I'm booked.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

It's better to swim in the sea belowThan to swing in the air and feed the crow, Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol.

Adventure is worthwhile.

I am so busy loving life, I have no time to hate.

I’d practically groped her under the guise of helping her get out a stain, but still, she looked like she found me about as appealing as second-hand underpants.

I'm still doing something I love to do.

I couldn't have done it without my players.

Al [Michaels] is inquisitive, knowledgeable, and incredibly well-prepared. I don't know what his IQ is, but it's probably only a couple of points lower than mine.

Greece is a good place for rebirths.

I am a great admirer of women.

Politeness is one of those advantages which we never estimate rightly but by the inconvenience of its loss.