How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?

The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

I repeat one of my mantras. 'This is not happening. This is not real. This did not happen to you. That was someone else.

Pay attention, behavior speaks… While preacher are telling you to pray for abundance, they’re passing around a basket.

I'm looking forward to the future, and feeling grateful for the past.

Because history is only an aggregate of personal hostilities, personal prejudices, personal blindness and irrationality, there are times when we have to live against it.

I think the Romans must have aggravated one another very much, with their noses. Perhaps, they became the restless people they were, in consequence.

Be about ten times more magnanimous than you believe yourself capable of. Your life will be a hundred times better for it.

The highest genius never flowers in satire, but culminates in sympathy with that which is best in human nature, and appeals to it.

Our knowledge will take its revenge on us, just as ignorance exacted its revenge during the Middle Ages.

I really am a smoothie person. I love making a morning smoothie and then will drink some coffee and will not eat at all before lunch.

We are a nation of 20 million bathrooms, with a humanist in every tub.