How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

It was too lonely to be heaven, and there wouldn't be stars in hell.

God is the world's oldest philosopher

When I go home, the last thing I want to do is read about the popular lore of vampires.

If literature isn't everything, it's not worth a single hour of someone's trouble.

I can go everywhere and no one recognises me.

Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. I loved him very much... still love him to this day. He treated me like a princess.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

But on and up, where Nature's heart Beats strong amid the hills.

When your arms are bigger than your head, something is wrong.

We go to war only to make peace. We never went to war with any other design. We carry the national conscience wherever we go.