How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate.

I peeled the skin off a grape in slippery little triangles, and I understood then that I would be undressing every item of food I could because my clothes would be staying on.

Ideas pull the trigger but instinct loads the gun.

What men call civilization is the condition of present customs; what they call barbarism, the condition of past ones.

First of all, writing at best - certainly fiction writing - more and more I think is magic.

I have always staged my fears as a way to transcend them.

Research performed on animals is, by definition, scientifically unsound.

There may be a brighter star. But through my eyes the light of you is all I see.

Get on in life because life will get on without you if you don't keep up.