How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

How do you say, 'Do things for me without me asking you to' since in saying that, you are asking them?

Everybody should have a librarian.

Use absolutely no pressure. Just like an angel's wing.

I have never lost my temper. I let out my venom in my writing if I have to, but person-to-person, I have never lost my temper, never used abusive language.

It's nice when the movie is not on your shoulders, too. It's fun to do a smaller part sometimes.

For a satyagrahi brigade only those are eligible who believe in ahimsa and satya.

I've always been at war with the guitar. All vocalists are fighting a war with the electric rhythm guitar.

I came here to tell you the truth, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Tis I that call, remember Milo's end, Wedged in that timber which he strove to rend.

Divine love is perfect peace and joy, it is a freedom from all disquiet, it is all content and happiness; and makes everything to rejoice in itself.