How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

I go on writing so that I will always have something to read.

Interact with others as if you are radiating happiness and healing from within.

Servant of God well done! Well hast thou fought The better fight.

Blame yourself if you have no branches or leaves don't accuse the sun of partiality.

Playing quarterback ... it's no joke ... The difference here with Johnny Manziel, there's a lot of style and very little substance.

I'm not afraid of being thought of as someone who is associated with film music. Why not? If it's a good song, what does it matter?

Be the green grass above me, with showers and dewdrops wet; and if thou wilt, remember, and if thou wilt, forget.

Like a domestic cat, purring on the sofa by day, but by night, a strutting queen, a natural killer, disdainful of her other life.

I cannot picture to myself a time when all mankind will have one religion.

A producer is someone who actually calls the shots. An executive producer is just a guy that eats more food at craft service.