How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

As Technology Revolutionizes the Workplace, we must Revolutionise our thinking to make the Workplace a HUMANE and GREAT place to Work.. or we will surely lose our Souls to business profiteers.

We are long before we are convinced that happiness is never to be found, and each believes it possessed by others, to keep alive the hope of obtaining it for himself.

For the Republican Convention, I think of Trump's speech and sort of the darkness, the fear of crime, the need for a strong arm really, and so that one core theme.

A piece of writing is the product of a series of explosions in the mind.

I like to spend time in the past, with the things that have been important to me.

Globalization exists but we shouldn't conflate globalization with trade agreements. Trade agreements is how we can shape globalization.

I'm really into rooibos tea with goat's milk and a little bit of honey. I also drink dandelion tea, Earl Grey, and sometimes a green tea. I'm very into tea.

A screenplay is not a finished product; a novel is. A screenplay is a blueprint for something - for a building that will most likely never be built.

I want nothing from You but to see You.

They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead, / They brought me bitter news to hear, and bitter tears to shed.