How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Very little is needed to make a happy life

but sometimes deception is needed not to hurt the ones we care for.

The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation.

Alone in a world, With millions of souls Walking in circles Trapped in their dreams unhealthy, unclean walking in circles, now do not disturb scream in silence everyone's sleeping

Bigger room, darling. Like I said, we need a bigger room.

The Soul debases her self, when she sets her affections on any thing but her creator.

As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.

Ignorance sheer ignorance. There is no confidence to equal it. It's only when you know something about a profession that you are timid or careful.

Given the large uncertainties at each major step of the case for reliance on a carbon tax, economists should reconsider their current support for such a policy.

Respect yourself as well as others; make commitments, not excuses, and make every day a fun day.