How do you tell your mother that you feel you're getting... old? If I'm... old, then what is she?

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer.

Volleyball is a Jewish sport. It's fun, and nobody can get hurt.

Actually, I have only two things to worry about now: afterlife and reincarnation.

In heaven, you get right through. In hell, they put you on hold.

Do you want to live in a world where a man lies about calories?

When friends ask for a second cup they are open to conversation.

the first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole.

[W]ishing for immortality won't make life last any longer.

Worse still, it isn’t actually necessary to look to space for petrifying danger. As we are about to see, Earth can provide plenty of danger of its own.

One of the man’s major purposes is to have dominion over the earth, in the same way as God hasdominion over the universe.

It was a mistake of mine to tell the lads that this lot don't score too many goals - and statistically they don't - but then they go and score seven.

I show through my movies that I can do something else. But I always play strong-minded characters. I think it's maybe because I'm like that. I love being by myself.

Man loves company - even if it is only that of a small burning candle.

The safe haven that al-Qaida has found in Pakistan is very troubling.

The only way a church is going to be relevant is to get out of its comfort zone and connect with unchurched people.

You don’t know the meaning of moderation, do you, my darling? A happy medium is something I wonder if you’ll ever learn.

The generations that were exposed to sitcom have the people actually saying the line, saying the joke, whereas sort of before that you have much more observational humor.