How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it.

But nothing is more opaque than absolute transparency.

I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Canada was built on dead beavers.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly.

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.

Nature is to zoos as God is to churches.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

The heavenly Father is faithful.

Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort

Polly had arrived in the world outraged to discover that her sisters had gotten there before her.

Write bylaws in a simple language—no one needs an advanced degree to understand them.

There are no dumb male questions. There are dumb males, but not dumb male questions.

I think maybe written films are better than real films. You can see them in your head and yet everything is exactly as you want it to be.

The story of love is hello and goodbye... until we meet again.

Anytime you make someone laugh or satirize something, it's the best way to change someone's opinion because they're defenseless - they laugh, they listen.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

Writing is my way of expressing - and thereby eliminating - all the various ways we can be wrong-headed.