How far back to the elementary school core curriculum do we have to go to get someone on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology caught up?

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

In a certain light, feminism is just the long, slow realization that the stuff you love hates you

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

I have worked with another first-time director who was not that open, and it was probably one of the worst experiences I ever had, so my antennas are really out.

The presence of real love in the world inspires me.

Do work you love, in which you can excel: The smaller the gap between who you are in your personal life and who you are at work, the happier you will be.

For, after all, in science one achieves the greatest impact (and often the greatest headlines) not by going along with the herd, but by bucking against it.

Intellectual elegance [is] a mind that is continually refining itself with education and knowledge. Intellectual elegance is the opposite of intellectual vulgarity.

You want to be free as the ego, but you need to be free FROM the ego. To be free from it is to understand its unreality.

We're all divided souls, we've got two natures in us, You measure schizophrenia not by the fact that you're divided but how well the divisions speak to one another.

You have to give people something to actually write music so that you're not just running your mouth all the time.