How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

There are repercussions to everything, even advancement and success. And I think that the repercussions to my success was the loss of my marriage.

Before, you are wise; after, you are wise. In between you are otherwise.

I'm an actor's director. I love it when talented actors can bring characters to life.

Let me in, immigration man, can I cross the line and pray, I can stay another day? Won't you let me in, immigration man? I won't toe your line today, I can't see it anyway.

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

I had a fall out with Satan. Repeating satanic verses.

Heaven is a place nearby, so there's no need to say goodbye.

You live in the city? You live in the graveyard! You want to be resurrected? Apply to the nature!

I'm not here to win a popularity contest. I'm here to work and have a career. Let the haters hate. I'm ready for the criticism.

My life was pretty rough.