How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Keep it simple and keep it real. The more basic we see our connection to God and Spirit, the easier it is to feel like you're a part of it.

How much you are able to learn is determined by how much you are involved, how much you participate, and how many actions you take.

I traveled enormously during the 1960's, when you measured everything by where you traveled and what you did as travelers.

Meta-Essence is the life-force of Wonderland. That of your enemies is especially potent. Collect what you can. Use it wisely.

I just think it's great to show a gown that's $8,000 and a shoe that's, like, $25-but still look fabulous together.

Dreams are not what you see in your sleep, dreams are things which do not let you sleep.

The first money I ever earned was for drawing stone tools.

Black illusion is all I ever see.

It made her eyes fill up with tears, and she for a few more minutes starting it over, replaying it, watching his lips say the words: "We can be lonely together.

We seldom require more to the happiness of the present hour than to surpass him that stands next before us.